RealTalk

a.) yea those videos are cool.. mikey showed them to me a couple of years ago. nice guys DO finish last, but i think it's something they do willingly.
b.) yes, ladies like assholes. why? you tell me! i've seen it enough and i've been on that side of the fence too many times than i'd like
c.) chivalry is NOT dead, but it's been dying. chivalry, like censorship, is dying in this day and age in our society.

that's all i got.

these guys go to UCSD. they have a cute, funny chris brown vid. haha i'll answer soon.

I'm not gonna lie. I've said this about a few guys, BUT I didn't use it as an excuse. What it came down to was that I didn't feel that "spark" that makes someone's heart pump a little faster or breath being taken away, smile get super cheesy, butterflies in your stomach-- type of feeling. Forgive me, guys, but when I say this it's describing high school or middle school or first crush-type deals. So, "back then" when I have said that, it's because I wasn't feeling it the way he was feeling it.

However, I must say kharma is a b-i-itch. =) So, trust, whatever girl called you that "nice" guy... she'll regret it and dubb you as "the one who got away". Now, if this is the case, would you consider her again?

"nice" post. I've seen a few of these before.. makes me think.

there's a difference between a NICE guy, and a SHY guy. don't get the two mixed up. nice guys can be shy, and vice versa.. but in definition, a nice guy isn't necessarily the shy guy who's afraid to ask. nice guys just think differently.

The thing with nice guys is that they [we?] may put friendship before relationship. the nice guy may sometimes be afraid to express his feelings, so as to not make things awkward between the two. so yes, nice guys do finish last, but only in respect of friendship.

Girls like jerks because the "chase" is more challenging than it is with nice guys. Girls like a chase, as do guys [just not as difficult], but this chase is more "Why doesn't he like me?! I'll make him like me." Also, are they really jerks at first sight? Yes, they are jerks to the nice guy cause they end up with the girl, but im sure later on down the line everyone becomes someones 'jerk'. survival of the fittest.. those who try shall succeed, while those who sit and watch shall hate on.

Yes, like dru said, chivalry is dying. you might still see men hold open doors for women, or pull out their seat, but for the other ways men show their admiration to a lady, they are rarely seen.. unless you know me ;)

I'm not gonna lie, I had to think thoroughly about my answers. It's a tough subject to understand, seeing that I come off as the "nice guy".. but i don't think it's something we "nice guys" can do anything about. it's in our blood to be nice. kinda sucks at times, but i get over it.

regarding steph's comment.. we may end up being "the one that got away".. but who wants to be "the guy who should have won first place" more than "the guy who won first place".. it doesn't make me a better person knowing that. also, being the nice guy, of course i'd consider her again! silly question :)

[marc!]

tou che, marc. =)

Ah.. nice guys.

Not gonna lie either, I know I've probably used something along the lines of "it's like dating my brother" or "he's too sweet" in the past.. I don't wanna say as an excuse [even though technically that's probably what it really was] but I think unconsciously it was a "polite" way of letting them down..with hopes that it won't turn awkward. I don't think I had the balls to say it straight up.

I agree with Marc in the whole putting friendship before a relationship because that's what I think about too. But I disagree about the girls liking jerks. Okay not ALL girls like jerks, c'mon now. For the most part, girls are naive. Shit I know I was once before. My ex wasn't a total jerk - obviously I saw something good in him otherwise I wouldn't have been with him for how long.. but I guess for the MOST part he was, hahah and I was helllllllla naive.. anyway that's beyond my point hahah. I think anybody can get sooo deep in lust or 'love' that they're blind to anything else and want so badly for it to work - they listen to their friends but don't really hear what they're saying.

Nice guys may finish last - but they end up with the trophy for much much longer. :)

"Nice guys may finish last - but they end up with the trophy for much much longer." [sheena]

there's something about this i wanna say.. but i just don't know how to say it. Like, its not about getting the trophy really, but more for the experience. we [everyone in the world] all usually end up with a "trophy," but the experience in having a relationship with a "possible trophy" is intriguing, i guess..

like girls and shoes.. those $300 dollar shoes may not be worth the $300, buuuuut it wouldn't hurt to try them out for a few days.

nice guys and girls.. she may not be the TROPHY, buuuut it wouldn't hurt to learn something from the experience.

This is just my opinion btw. see, i told you this subject is tough for me! gaaaah!

[marc]

I get what you're saying Marc..you know we'd probably go more in depth on this subject if we were for real having real talk.. you know. Foreal. Real talk. Haha anyways.. what I also meant by that metaphor was that the trophy wasn't just the girl [or guy] - but the whole thing in general: the relationship and all the good stuff/bad stuff that come along with it..

I'm having a hard time trying to explain this too but NG's & jerks get different trophies. Because nice guys/girls ARE 'nice' and go through watching other guys/girls get with a 'jerk' .. the whole process & the end result seems like the 'trophy' is much more.... what's the word, worthy?? Worthy of? Deserving? Valuable? Righteous? Worthwhile? If it didn't work out, they come out of it feeling experienced & refreshed.. being able to know how they are when it comes to relationships & feel like they can share more of themselves with someone new.

Since 'jerks' are jerks, then it seems like they don't 'deserve' to be with someone 'nice'. [Then this could go on to a different subject on 'things happen for a reason' like.. the nice person was 'sent' to the 'jerk' to help change their life.... or something] if it doesn't work they go on with their lives and probably find someone else to be in a relationship but feeling the total opposite of the NG.

Shit I don't even know if that made sense. :p

huh?

[marc]

Man.. I should've tried explaining that while you were here this weekend. Ah well.